In the arms of darkness
by LostInParadise911
Summary: A story of Alex and Piper finding their way to each other after Piper leaves her in Paris. AU. Dark and adult content including smut. Alex/Piper.
1. Prologue

**Hi guys! After working full time over the summer and having no time to do anything, I am finally back in the arms of fangirling. I've been wanting to write for a long while but I simply haven't had the time. This is a ridiculously short prologue chapter to help get me in motion and back into writing. I will be updating soon! I've had half of the next chapter of Just What Is She Reading written for months, but between finals and work I just haven't had the time to finish it. Soooooon, I promise myself as well as you! In the mean time, I've joined the OITNB band wagon and decided to give this fandom a go. I hope you like and I will update soon! And there will be smut. Lots of smut. This is a vausemen story and smut is what I like to write best, you won't have to wait long and the chapters will be much longer, this is a prologue of sorts.**

**Usual disclaimer - None of the characters are mine and no copyright infringement intended. **

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It was dark. It was always dark. And it hurt. The pain never went away. She was alone. She had lost the only thing to have matter to her, to her heart. To something she swore would never take over her life. But she had already lost the battle so what difference would one more time make. At least it made the all-encompassing hatred and pain disappear, even if only for a little while. The sharp tip felt familiar now against her skin, the marks on her veins simply part of her. She hadn't ventured beyond these walls in a long time. There was no one to care, no one to see what she was doing to herself. The cold metal pierced her skin and slid smoothly into a vein, she watched with masochistic observance as she pushed the plunger and watched the contents filter past her skin surface and into her blood stream. The warmth settled over her body, the pain infiltrating her every sense starting to retreat somewhere into the back of her mind – temporarily forgotten. Her head lulled and her limbs got heavier. The darkness slowly encroached on her now clouded mind, she couldn't feel her limbs anymore, everything was too heavy, too difficult to control but it didn't matter because the pain was less. That was all that mattered. All that had mattered since her Mum had died and her love had left her. There was nothing left in this world for her. Nothing that her money could buy her. Nothing that could replace the feeling of loss that had taken over her heart and mind. She needed her. The only person that could have gotten her through this had left her. Alone. She was all alone. Not a single soul in the world there to break her fall. She was freefalling, fast, too fast. She was going to crash and burn. Soon. No, no no. Her head shook in a slowly, distorted motion. She couldn't think about her. It would end her. The darkness overtook and she felt no more s she slipped into unconsciousness.

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**I'll throw my pie for you if you review ;)**


	2. Chapter 1

**Hi! Thank you to everyone who's took the time to visit this story already and especially to those who have reviewed/followed! Here is chapter uno. Please let me know what you think and if I'm wasting my time pursuing this story! I appreciate everyone who takes the time to spare me a few lines, good or bad. No beta so all the mistakes are my own - let me know about any and I will fix them! But anyway, here you go and I hope you enjoy. :) **

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**Chapter 1**

The room was spinning, her stomach lurching like it was aboard a ship stuck in the centre of a storm. She tried to move but she didn't have the energy, her limbs were still so heavy. Instead she fell sideways and emptied her stomach contents (which weren't substantial) onto the floor at the side of her. She tried to roll away from it onto her back but hit her head against the wall. Groaning, she hoisted her body upwards with great effort and slumped backwards, using the wall for support. Everything hurt. She welcomed the physical pain wracking her body. Anything was better than the emotional trauma she was suffering. Hence why she had woken up, exactly like this every day for the past week. She'd tried to keep her head above water; she tried to cope, tried to process and deal with the emotional turmoil that had erupted over her seemingly perfect life. But she couldn't do it. She was drowning. Rapidly. But the drugs had always been there, they'd never left her side. They were her constant, and they had offered a life jacket to pull her above the water that was drowning her. They had offered a hand when life had shoved her down and she took it. She latched on with everything she had - which wasn't much. She was just a shell of a person these days. Existing but not living. Surviving, that was probably the right word for what she was doing, surviving the whirlwind of catastrophe that had blown through her life and left everything derelict and broken. She wasn't a person anymore. Just a being. A worthless being. Slowly she staggered her way to her feet, clutching the wall like a life line as the rooms spinning increased in tempo. She stumbled forward crashing into a table and knocking a lamp from its perch, she watched it fall to the ground as though it occurred in slow motion. She heard the crash but the sound seemed distant, like it wasn't her lamp that had just shattered against the floor in front of her. She stared at it with a confused glaze in her eyes before turning and continuing her path.

The water was so hot in stung as it struck her bare flesh. This pain was also welcomed. A physical representation of how bare she felt to the world. She had been stripped of everything she loved and presented bare to the world to be punished for all her misdeeds – that was how it seemed anyway. The water and steam helped to chase away some of the remaining fog from her mind. With clarity and clear mindedness came reality. With reality came the memories.

_ Alex slid into the shower and slipped her arms around Piper's waist. She pressed herself against Piper's back, and moaned as she pulled Piper's ass into her crotch. Pressing a wet kiss against Piper's shoulder she slid her hands up to cup her breasts, gently squeezing and massaging them until she felt Piper's nipples stiffen under her ministrations. Piper's head fell back and rested against her shoulder, Piper brought her hand up, gently tracing the curvature of Alex's jaw before cupping her cheek and drawing Alex's lips into her own for a deep and passionate meeting of tongues. Piper slipped her hand around to cradle the back of Alex's head and neck holding her in place so she couldn't pull away from the kiss. Alex had temporarily forgotten to keep moving her hands, as she became completely entranced in everything that was Piper Chapman. Piper used her other hand to cover Alex's and began squeezing her own breast, Alex took the hint and started her own motions again rolling Piper's nipples between her thumb and forefinger. She continued to worship Piper's breasts until Piper had to pull away from their kiss, to drop her head back onto Alex's shoulder, releasing small moans of pleasure against the shell of Alex's ear. Alex felt heat flood to her centre as Piper's lips gently caressed her ear and she began to grind her hips forward into Piper's ass. _

"_I want your fingers in me Alex, baby. I want you to fuck me so good." Piper whispered into Alex's here, finishing the sentence by sucking Alex's earlobe into her hot mouth._

_It was Alex's turn to moan as she slid her right hand down Piper's body to find the wet heat that awaited her at Piper's core. Slowly Alex slid just one finger between Piper's folds, dipping the tip of her finger into Piper's tight opening before pulling it out and sliding it up towards her clit. Alex's finger found Piper's hardened nub and began a slow circle around it, not quite touching it. Piper's moans got breathier as she begged Alex to give her what she needed. Alex finally succumbed to her pleas and buried two fingers deep into Piper's pussy. _

"_Oh fuck Alex." Piper moaned out as Alex began a steady rhythm of pumping her digits into Piper, making sure to curl her fingers on every other thrust. It didn't take longer for Piper's hips to begin thrusting against her with wild abandon as her moans got louder and more frequent. Piper could feel the coil winding tighter and tighter in the pit of her stomach, warmth building up ready to explode across her body when all of a sudden Alex stopped thrusting and removed herself completely from Piper's body. _

"_What the fu..." Piper started but before she knew it Alex had pinned her against the wall and sunk to her knees in front of her. _

"_Oh baby," Piper moaned out as Alex lifted her thigh and placed it over her shoulder opening her centre up for Alex's tongue to glide through her folds. Piper's head fell back against the shower wall and her chest started heaving as her breathing became erratic. Alex sucked Piper's clit into her mouth and simultaneously sunk two digits back into Piper's wet heat. Alex instantly felt Piper's pussy clenching around her fingers, pulling them in deeper. _

"_Faster, " Piper moaned out, followed by a string of profanity as she slid her hands into Alex's hair grabbing fistfuls and holding her head in place to prevent Alex torturing her further - Piper wanted to cum, and she wanted to cum now. After deeper, faster thrusts and Alex's amazing tongue stroking her clit in all the right ways, lights exploded behind Piper's eyes and she screamed out Alex's name as she came while her knees buckled beneath her._

The tears came in torrents, pouring down her cheeks and mixing with the water still crashing down on her body. The ability to stand departed her body and she collapsed to the floor and curled up in a ball and let the emotion take over her body. Her body convulsed as sobs overtook and her strangled cries filled the space. She craved for anything that could take the pain away. As one of those things wasn't ever coming back to her, the second option becomes her only option. The craving for a fix reared its ugly head and roared like an angered tiger in her head. She needed to sate the animal and make the pain go away. The intellectual part of her knew that this was wrong, that she was screwing up her mind and her body by doing this but she couldn't face the pain and the memories. The emotional currents were crushing her and her drug was the only thing that gave her the strength to cope, to survive. Her hands started to shake as she fought the battle between her mind and her heart. Was she in too deep?


	3. Chapter 2

**Hi guys! I'm so sorry it takes me forever to update, I didn't realise how intense my courses would be and I've been swamped trying to get on top of my workload for uni along with all the other commitments I made this year, including mentoring and been committee for one of our societies and promising myself I'd turn up to more societies this year. Anyway, here is a new chapter. I hope you like it, reviews = love and I would love to know your thoughts and opinions as I normally try to stick to smut one shots rather then venture out to multi chapter fics with dark themes!**

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**Chapter 2**

It was dark. Again. Were her eyes open? She slowly drifted into consciousness and realised she was blue and shaking. She'd passed out in the hallway somewhere between the shower and wherever the hell she was going to end up. Groaning from the mental and physical exhaustion that encompassed her being she pulled herself up and dragged herself into her bedroom to find some form of clothing to wrap around her quaking body. How did things get like this? From a globe-trotting badass to a dribbling mess on her own floor in her old run down town in the States. She'd never been in such a dark and twisted place. Despite the shit she had to go through as a kid, from bullies to absent parents that had just been life. Shit happened. That was the hand she was dealt and she adapted to work with it. Now it was like the rug had been pulled out from under her. An earthquake had suddenly torn apart the foundations of her life and she was left surrounded by the ruins. She didn't know how to cope with the sudden change, how to cope with such loss to her life. Absentmindedly, she scratched her arm while her mind tried to formulate answers as to how this had happened to her life. A drug addicted mess that barely made it up from the floor of her apartment. A pitiful laugh fell from her mouth at just how pathetic she'd become. All the impressions she'd been under that she was a self-serving, independent woman had been blown to smithereens, she lost two people and now she couldn't get through the day without a drug induced blackout.

Still scratching her arm, she felt moisture against her fingertips. Confused she looked down to see her arm stained with lines of red. Fuck. The healing needle tracks were now fully exposed, their protest at the exposure tracked in blood down her arm. God she was a mess. She didn't have the mental capability to deal with her mess right now though. She wasn't sure if she'd ever have the mental ability to pick herself up from this. Not alone. The one person who could fix her was god knows where. The only thing she was certain of was that her person wouldn't be coming back to her. She wasn't hers any longer. The tears started pooling in her eyes again, and several spilled down her face. She hadn't looked in a mirror for days, she didn't need to see the evidence of her drug binges in her blood shot eyes or the evidence of the tear tracks that had not left her face since landing on American soil. How does one process death? Loss? Heartbreak? How does one process been forced to look in the mirror and see themselves, the real them, for the first time in a long time? No mask to hide behind, no one to pass the blame on to, to claim it isn't your fault, no running from the pain to a different corner of the world or burying it down and forgetting it exists. She had to look in the mirror and say "It's my fault. I fucked up. Big time." She wanted to kick, and cry and scream and put the blame on someone else, but there was no one else to blame. She neglected her lover, she was the reason that she'd been left alone in a hotel room in Paris with no one to turn to. She was the reason she hadn't been home to see her Mum in a long time, too long, not the drug lords that kept her in line with business. She had the money she could have flown home to see her Mum more often, but she didn't.

She felt the rage building up inside herself. For not seeing things sooner, for not predicting this would happen and fixing it before everything had spiralled this far out of control. She was always in control. Always. Before she was fully conscious of her actions her fist flew forward, towards the nearest wall. The dry wall crumped under the force of the blow, and she felt the debris behind it slice through the skin on her hand. Breathing hard, she crumpled against the wall feeling the coolness against her flushed skin. Pain spread through her hand and into her wrist. Slowly she turned her head to look at the point where her hand disappeared behind the wall before unclenching her still tight fist and slowly drawing her arm back to reveal her bloodied, bruised and swollen hand.

"Shit."

Her shoulders dropped. Defeat became an overwhelming tidal wave sweeping through her body. At least now she had a physical representation of all the pain that swirled through her body lately. Something she could focus on that didn't require any emotional processing. That thought relieved her slightly as she rummaged through her freezer hoping that by some higher deity she happened to have frozen peas or ice. Eventually, a bag of frozen peas were located and she dropped into a chair at the kitchen table placing the ice on her hand before dropping her head into her arms. She needed to work but like it had for the past week she decided it could wait a little longer. Her phone remained un-charged and completely devoid of life somewhere around her office desk. Right now she didn't care if the big bad men in charge sent someone to kill her for the drugs still in her possession. It was the least of her concerns.

She fell asleep like that and awoke some time later to find her hand completely numb and freezing cold in a pool of water from the now defrosted peas. When did she start sleeping so much? She was constantly tired and devoid of energy. It wasn't like she had anything better to do with her day anyway. At least sleep meant she could escape from the reality of her life. It was a welcome recess into the deepest corners of her mind where nothing could bother her. She had never been one for nightmares. Sleeping was her welcomed solitude that was the waking nightmare of day to day life. Her own stress free zone away from the hustle and bustle of life. With nothing to do she returned the peas to the freezer and lumbered herself to the couch. Dropping herself down and sprawling her body across the cushions, she reached for the remote before flipping on the TV. She'd never been one for TV, much preferring her books but right now her mind couldn't focus enough to read a sentence never mind a full novel. But she still needed something to occupy her mind before she consumed herself with more thoughts of misery. She needed to start attempting to swim, to keep herself above the pain. So mindlessly she stared at the TV screen and watched the images change. There was a reason she didn't like television, and she focussed on elaborating on that point and vowing to never watch it again to keep her mind occupied.

A glint of light caught her attention. She scanned the room quickly to find out the source that had distracted her from her musings. The needle from last night, it lay haphazardly on the floor from where she had collapsed in a pile against the wall. Swallowing hard, she diverted her attention back to the TV. Her mouth suddenly dry, her hands began to shake. Quickly she shoved them under her legs to prevent the movement. Breathe she told herself. Closing her eyes she tried desperately to centre herself, to distract herself, to find some semblance of will power and control to resist the sweet temptation. But it called to her, like a beautiful song it beckoned her to dance with it. To get lost in the world that only it could provide. And it was oh so tempting. She opened her eyes and glared at the offending needle, like that would someone make it go away. Her mouth was dry, and she began to get a little dizzy at the all-consuming need that was rampaging across her brain. A war was raging between her common sense, and the reward pathways in her brain that urged her to give in to the temptation and get the relief it could provide. It was like an angel and a devil sitting on her shoulders, whispering in her ear. The devil taunted her and challenged her, daring her to have another taste of the metaphorical poisoned apple. What the hell, she'd already been expelled from paradise. What was one more romp in the bushes? With that she pushed herself from the sofa to the draw that held her white angel, her guardian, her comfort.


End file.
